What It Really Means When Your Nervous System Is Dysregulated
Science Made Simple
“Dysregulation” simply means your system is stressed, overwhelmed or your systems are out of sync. This is a form of communication from your body, not a personality flaw or lack of willpower.
Nervous system regulation or “regulated” refers to our ability to connect socially, feel calm and present, as well as learn and grow. As humans, we naturally see-saw in and out of this state throughout our day. Stress increases, like missing your alarm and waking up late, and we drop down out of this zone. Ideally, we are then returning after a shorter period of time.
Dsyregulation on the other hand can take several forms. Nervous system dysregulation can look like anxiety, worry or irritation. It can also look like depression, numbness or exhaustion. Essentially, this space highlights when our body’s automatic stress and safety responses are out of sync with the reality around you.
Your autonomic nervous system (ANS) is always scanning for cues of safety and danger , without you even realizing it. It has three primary branches:
Sympathetic: Your “fight or flight” mode, activated when you sense threat or need to mobilize quickly.
Parasympathetic (ventral vagal): Your “rest and connect” mode, engaged when you feel safe, grounded, and socially connected.
Dorsal vagal: Your “shutdown” state, triggered when the body perceives danger it can’t escape - leading to numbness, disconnection, or collapse.
In a regulated state, your nervous system moves fluidly between these states depending on the situation. But when you’re dealing with chronic stress, unresolved trauma, or a lack of consistent safety cues, that flexibility is lost. Instead, you get stuck; often swinging between anxiety and exhaustion or feeling trapped in one state for long periods. That’s nervous system dysregulation in action.
Why “Just Calm Down” Doesn’t Cut it
If you’ve ever felt frustrated by advice like “think positive” or “just relax,” you’re not alone. Here’s the truth: mindset doesn’t override biology. (It can influence but that’s a whole other blog post friends!)
When your body perceives danger, even if that “danger” is just a stressful email, a chaotic environment, or the echoes of past trauma, it flips into protective mode automatically. These survival responses are God-given, ancient wisdom and deeply wired. You can’t simply logic your way out of them because they’re designed to happen before conscious thought.
This is why, even with all the coping strategies in the world, you might still feel on edge, shut down, or unable to rest. It’s not a lack of willpower ; it’s your biology trying to keep you safe.
Common Signs to Look For
Not sure if nervous system dysregulation is what’s really behind how you feel? Here are a few signs that your body might be stuck in survival mode:
Rapid Mood Shifts – Feeling calm one moment and anxious, irritable, or tearful the next is often a sign your system is cycling between states without stability.
Wired but Tired – You’re exhausted, but your body won’t let you rest. Your mind races at night, or you wake up already bracing for the day.
Trouble Resting Even When You’re Exhausted – Even in safe situations (like lying in bed or on vacation), you can’t “turn off.” This means your system hasn’t received enough cues to feel secure.
How to Start Re-Regulating
The good news: regulation is learnable.
Your nervous system is plastic; it can change with the right inputs. One of the most effective ways to begin is by learning to recognize where you are on the nervous system ladder, a simple framework that maps out the states of your ANS and shows you how to gently guide yourself from survival back into safety.
This isn’t about forcing your body to “relax.” It’s about offering small, consistent signals that tell your system: You’re safe now.
🌿 Download the Nervous System Ladder to discover which state your body is in- and get simple, science-backed ways to help it come back into balance.
You can’t think your way to safety. But you can feel your way there, one small cue at a time.