Why You Feel Anxious After You Finally Slow Down

You finally sit down to rest ….aaaaaannnnnddd your chest tightens. Your mind races. Maybe tears come out of nowhere.
It’s confusing, discouraging even. You want to feel calm, but instead your body feels like it’s bracing for something.

WHAT THE HECK?!?!

This isn’t failure, it’s communication actually.
It’s your body trying to come out of survival mode.

The Science Behind the “Crash After the Push”

For weeks, or maybe years, you’ve been running on stress hormones. Cortisol and adrenaline help you power through deadlines, caregiving, or chronic emotional strain. No judgement, I’ve been there too. This is your sympathetic nervous system in overdrive, also called the fight-or-flight state.

When the body can’t sustain that level of activation any longer, it does something protective: it shuts down.
This is known as a dorsal vagal collapse, or more commonly, the freeze response.

Think of it as your body hitting the brakes too hard after driving at full speed for too long. You don’t feel relaxed; you feel numb, foggy, or heavy. This is your nervous system’s way of conserving energy when it no longer feels safe to stay alert.

Why Rest Can Trigger Anxiety

After months or years of constant motion, stillness can feel unsafe.
If your body has learned that safety comes from doing

keeping busy, staying alert, holding it all together

then rest feels like a threat.

When you finally slow down, the protective systems that kept you functioning begin to lower their guard. The adrenaline fades, and stored emotions or unprocessed sensations can rise to the surface. That chest tightness or wave of sadness isn’t proof something’s wrong. It’s evidence your body is starting to reconnect.

To truly rest, your body must first feel safe enough to relax. Without those safety cues, the nervous system confuses stillness with danger.

3 Steps to Relearn Rest

Relearning rest isn’t about forcing calm. It’s about teaching your body that stillness can be safe again.

1. Micro-Rest (30 Seconds of Stillness)

Start small. Take short pauses: a few slow breaths before you get out of the car, or 30 seconds to notice how your feet feel on the floor. Micro-rest helps your body taste safety without overwhelming it.

2. Gentle Movement Before Stillness

If rest feels edgy, start with gentle motion: slow stretching, a short walk, swaying side to side. Movement helps discharge trapped survival energy before transitioning into stillness.

3. Anchor with Sensory Cues

Use grounding sensory signals that tell your body “you’re safe now.”
Try a rubbing your hand together gently, your favorite scent, soothing music, or the texture of something soft in your hands. These simple cues help shift the body from vigilance into presence.

Moving from Collapse to Connection

Regulation isn’t about never getting stressed. Sorry to say, that’s not possible. It is about finding your way back to safety.
Each time you move from tension to calm, your body learns the path a little faster. (New neutral pathway baby!) Over time, you’re not just surviving: you’re connecting, feeling, and living again.

If you’re ready to retrain your body to rest and regulate again, my 1:1 Nervous System Training helps you identify your specific survival patterns and teach your body safety in real time.